Are young dual income couples today more inclined to let their children sleep in their beds with them?

I am a nanny for a couple who work long hours and their 4 and nearly six year old kids, nightly wake around 2 or 3 am and crawl into bed with their parents. When they were babies, the parents would never let them ';cry it out'; and develop the ability to comfort themselves and go back to sleep. The parents would pick them up out of the crib and take them to their bed. They have never been trained to have a continuous sleep patern because they are ';rewarded'; nightly by NOT being returned to their own beds. I often have to sleep over when the parents are traveling and it is very annoying to me that thes kids wake me up in the night simply out of their own internal clocks being trained to do this. I DO return them to their beds but I can't see why their parent do this to them other than to assuage their own guilt over seeing so little of their kids. Is this becoming a more common practice for couples who both work?Are young dual income couples today more inclined to let their children sleep in their beds with them?
My husband and I both work and we don't allow our kids to sleep in our bed. Never have unless they were sick and I was afraid they would throw up in their sleep. I was always told that if you let your children in your bed that it would be difficult to get them out. I have 3 year old twins and can think of two occasions where I let one of them sleep in our bed. This wasn't something that I wanted to start with them because I've heard what a battle it can be in the end. I don't think that being young and both parents working really has anything to do with the fact that their kids sleep in their bed. They may use that as an excuse, but I feel laziness plays a big part in this. It's easier to let them sleep in the bed with them than get up and put your kids back in their own beds. Just my opinion.Are young dual income couples today more inclined to let their children sleep in their beds with them?
Your theory is a sweeping generalization that may just apply to this family.


Every family is different. Many of us who don't use nannies choose to use attachment parenting with our children.





If you don't care for the way the parents raise their children find a new family to work for.
In many countries children and adults sleep in one big bed. ( old story of grandmas feather bed ) Depends on the adults here. My husband and I usually return a wondering child to his room during the night. Our 8 yr old can and has on the occasion, sneak into our bed and we have not known. He usually sneaks in on my husbands side as he is a heavy sleeper and most times does not feel him get in.


We have 4 boys and all have their own rooms and for the most stay in them during the night.
I have never heard of that one being linked to having both parents work. I can see that if you had to get up for work it might be tempting to let them sleep with you, so that you should get a few more hours of sleep, rather than having to fight with the kids in the middle of the night. But to my way of thinking short term laziness always leads to bigger problems in the long run. Sometimes I am tired too, but I know that if I am not consistent my kids will be much harder to discipline later.





We let both of our kids learn to comfort themselves at about five months of age and they now sleep wonderfully. It was really hard for a few nights, but much better in the long run.


Of course I did have the advantage of teaching pre-school for six years and working for three years as a nanny. I got to see lots of examples of ';what not to do';. It is a lot easier to be objective when they are not your kids.





I would not necessarily link lazy parenting with working.
My husband and I both work and the only time we let our daughter sleep with us is if she wakes up at say 5:00am and we are only going to sleep for a couple more hours, and that is mostly on the weekends.


The only other time is when she isn't feeling good. I'll take her in bed with us until she falls back asleep and then return her to her bed.


Any other time I hear her in the middle of the night, I lie in bed and if she doesn't calm down, I'll go rock her, otherwise she fusses for a little bit and then goes back to sleep on her own.
This is a very interesting question and I'm actually looking forward to seeing the answers you recieve!





I do think that these parents you are speaking of are probably tired from working long hours and probably do feel some guilt since both needto/want to work. Although I do hear of more and more people co sleeping with their children longer and longer and alot of times one of the parents is a SAHP. I'm not sure I agree or disagree with the whole co sleeping issue as I really don't know much about it since its not something I ever intended to do.





All that being said...I'm a SAHM and all of my children have slept with us for a certain amount of time while they were little babies and I was nursing them. Our 3 year old son has Sensory Integration Disorder. Children with this disorder are known to have difficulties sleeping as well as with textures of food (often labled picky eaters), clothing, and play materials. Our son still does not sleep through the night (even after trying weighted blankets that were suggested to us) he does fall asleep in his own bed but 1/2 way through the night he climbs into bed with us and most nights we do put him back in his bed. The problem is some nights he will constantly get up and others he will stay in his bed after 1 or 2 times of placing him back in his own bed. On nights that he gets up frequently I do end up letting him sleep with us because otherwise I would never sleep! Alot of other disorders affect childrens sleep patterns too.





As to the question of this becoming a common practice with more parents I'm not really sure if it is laziness on the part of parents, that they like feeling close to their children, guilt, or maybe other underlaying issues.








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My other kids always sleep in their own beds and we never had issues with them sleeping on their own once they started sleeping through the night between 9-12 months old.
I work and my hubby stays at home with our baby and toddler. I feel like I'm being cruel if I leave the kids to ';cry it out'; and so consequently - the toddler sleeps with my husband and I sleep seperately so that I don't get kicked in theribs all night. I guess we're too lazy to develop any discipline...
My husband and I both work, although I only work part-time. It is definitely a guilt issue. I only let my son sleep in bed with us when he is sick sometimes, or if he gets up early in the morning I feel like it is a bonding experience.
I've only read of parents doing this. Between the people I know (it's a lot, not saying we're friends, but general acquaintances) none of us allow the children to sleep in our beds unless they've had a nightmare that was horrifying and they are genuinely scared (that's a rare occassion as well).





Even as a military family we don't do this with our children. My guy does not do this with his son and they are away far more often and far longer than civilians.