Our arguing has decreased considerably over the years. The biggest thing we used to argue about was her daughter, my step-daughter, who was a baby when I met my wife. We argued and argued over the years, because she was a very difficult child -- my wife would agree with that fact, but we could never seem to agree completely on how to handle her.
The daughter moved into a place of her own about 2 years ago, when she turned 20. Now, holding down a job and paying her own bills, she really appreciates us!
My wife and I now rarely argue about anything. When we do, I feel upset if she's angry at me, or angry at her if there's something she did or said I didn't like. The arguments are short these days, usually just a little discussion and an agreement about how one of us will do things differently in the future, or a plan of action.
Here's something interesting we've found. If it's a relatively complicated issue, we like to write each other emails, while I'm at work and she's at home (she works weekends, whereas I work weekdays). This gets our feelings and thoughts out in organized ways, and avoids ';tone of voice'; misinterpretations, so it works well for us.
The only other time we can almost be assured of arguing is if it's after midnight on Friday night and we've both been drinking and we're staying up late and haven't gone to bed at a reasonable time. In this scenario, she pretty consistently finds something to get paranoid and confrontational about, and once she gets into that state of mind there's no reasoning with her. You've heard of ';happy drunks'; and ';angry drunks';? Well, my wife is a paranoid drunk, lol. As you can imagine, now that I've figured this out, it's a pretty easy situation to avoid. Occasionally, though, I tempt fate just for the drama of risking a crazy argument.
Why do you ask?How often do couples fight or argue?
I just moved in with my boyfriend 2 months ago. We have little arguments here and there over stupid things but rarely have huge blow-out fights. When that happens I usually just go in the other room until I relax because I'm either fuming or crying (depending if I know I'm right or wrong, haha)
my husband and I use to rarely argue. I am the one that tends to avoid the conflict and keep peace because my parent's argued a lot. But after 19 years I found out he'd cheated on me twice and now we argue all the time! I am less apt to keep my opinion to myself and we argue about everything. I use to feel terribly sad when we fought, now I feel angry.
we argue every day we talk. we fight several times a year. I used to feel like it was the end of the world, when we had a big fight. now I know that a fight is just a fight. I almost enjoy it. it spices the life. last years we don't fight as much as we used to, may be just fight once a year.
Well, just last week my wife and I had our first argument.
So for us, once every 5 years.
It depends on the couple. My first husband and I fought often, I couldnt even give you an average amount. My new husband and I have been married 8 months and I can only think of three times that we fought.
There are some times when we disagree with each other but thats about as far as it goes. we have been together for 10 years and have never once screamed at each other or fought.
I think we are mature adults and realized that we have our own opinions and fighting is not going to change it.
If both people in a relationship have sufficient emotional maturity, arguments should be minor and infrequent.
You have to be able to separate the small sh!t from the really big sh!t, first of all.
Then, you have to be mature enough to realize that the small stuff doesn't matter, and then negotiate your way through the big stuff without resorting to childish methods.
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